Category Archives: Uncategorized

A Broken Hallelujah

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I recently witnessed a “broken hallelujah.” On two different occasions, I watched women overcome by sorrow and grief pour out their worship through tears. It was their doxologies of praise to the One from whom all blessings flow, even when life is crushing. As I led worship and watched them, and saw others standing with them and loving them, I was swept up in the beauty of pure worship. It was a powerful thing, and it touched me deeply.

We worship the Exalted One who dwells in a high and holy place but also with those who are crushed in spirit to revive them.[1] Our broken hallelujahs touch the heart of God, and He is drawn like a magnet to them. When we gather to worship, He moves within and among us reviving, comforting and inflaming our hearts with His Presence.

We each come to corporate worship from different life circumstances. Sometimes our worship is a shout of joy to the Rock of our salvation. Sometimes it issues silently from a heavy heart bowed in humility, and sometimes it’s through tears of deep love and gratitude. The blending harmonies create the beauty and power of corporate worship. It floods us from an overflow of the Spirit of God and we pour it back over Him. Sometimes the flood nearly bursts my heart.

This morning as I ran, I listened to worship we often miss – birdsong. There are nearly 20,000 bird species in the world, and God planted unique songs in their throats for His listening pleasure. Today, I heard chickadees, robins, finches and sparrows to name a few. I listened to a male hummingbird chitter as he enjoyed a cool drink and took a dip in my water fountain. I love the poignant call of the Golden-crowned Sparrow, the resonant song of the Red-winged Blackbird, the complex melody of the Song Sparrow, the gentle cluck of a hen and, of course, the familiar chick-a-dee-dee-dee. I think God had fun creating all those songs and declared them all good.

It’s good to worship our Sovereign God together and unite in our diversity to declare His worthiness. He’s infinite in attributes and unceasing in His transforming work in our lives, so there will always be a new song and a new reason to worship Him. His love and goodness reach beyond the heights of our praise and into the depths of our broken hallelujahs.

[1] Isaiah 57:15

Land Before Time

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In the timeless realm of the Trinity,
In the unspeakable glory of absolute purity,
When holiness was all that existed,

Before time began ticking,
Before the earth and solar system occupied space,
Before stars were scattered across the universe,

The Sovereign Eternal God chose me.1 
Before I existed, He set His affection upon me.
Before I was named, He called me by name.

Why?

The “because” doesn’t lie within me 
But lies within the mysterious unfathomable depths 
Of the great heart of God.

My overwhelmed mind is speechless
But my heart soars on the updrafts 
Of the unsearchable love and grace of God.

Long before he laid down earth’s foundations, he had us in mind, 
had settled on us as the focus of his love, 
to be made whole and holy by his love.
Ephesians 1:4, The Message

You are a chosen people…God’s special possession,
that you may declare the praises of him who called you 
out of darkness into his wonderful light.
I Peter 2:9

I will praise you, Lord my God, with all my heart; 
I will glorify your name forever.
Psalm 86:12


1 I read Ephesians 1 this morning, and by the time I hit verse four I was already swept away by stunning truths that took my breath away.

The Heartbeat of Jesus

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What’s the heartbeat and essence of Jesus? What’s His driving force?

Jesus revealed His deepest core when He said, “I am gentle and humble in heart.”[1] Gentleness and humility are His center. They are what move Him.

He humbled Himself choosing to enter the world as a helpless dependent baby in a lowly place made to shelter animals. The birth announcement was reserved for shepherds, and they were the first guests of the Christ child.

Jesus was gentle and humble kneeling before His disciples with a basin of water and a towel. His gentleness and humility were displayed in His care for the little ones and in His tears of compassion for the grieving. They’re displayed today in His tender love for me when I struggle and fail.

His heart is gentle and kind, and His arms are never crossed. They’re always open to embrace me just as I am where I am. But He also opens His arms to be embraced.

“He astounds and sustains us with His endless kindness. Only as we drink down the kindness of the heart of Christ will we leave in our wake, everywhere we go, the aroma of heaven, and die one day having startled the world with glimpses of a divine kindness too great to be boxed in by what we deserve.”

“This is the One so unspeakably brilliant that His resplendence cannot adequately be captured with words, so ineffably magnificent that all language dies away before His splendor. This is the One whose deepest heart is, more than anything else, gentle and lowly.”[2]

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.[3]

[1] Matthew 11:29

[2] Ortlund, Dane. (2020) Gentle and Lowly: The Heart of Christ for Sinners and Sufferers. Wheaton, IL: Crossway

[3] Matthew 11:28-29

10 Words

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Last week a string of words grabbed me and embedded themselves in my mind. They’re found in II Corinthians 13:5. Do you not realize that Christ Jesus is in you? There’s a tone of imploring in those 10 words.

Pam, do you not realize that I, Myself, am in you?

I know this. I lived most of my life knowing this. I’ve talked about it, and I’ve pondered it with wonder. I catch breathtaking glimpses of it, but it’s beyond comprehension and so easily slips through my brain cells. Then one day, God puts it in front of me again and takes me a little further.

How much do I really grasp that Christ Jesus Himself is alive in me? How much do I apprehend of His life and power? How deeply do I comprehend and experience the nearness of His Presence? He walks in the inner garden of my soul and wants me to join Him in conversation and in relationship in every moment and every movement.

O my soul, know this well, know this deeply, know this every moment of every day that Christ Jesus is alive in me!

He is in me as I go about my day. He is in me as I eat and drink, as I run, as I create, as I care for my grandchildren, as I drive the freeway, as I shop and wait in lines, as I surf the internet, as I clean my house and mow my lawn. There is nothing in my day in which He is not a part of and fully present.

I do not realize deeply enough the ramifications of the core truth that Christ Jesus is in me. In great love for my soul, Christ joins Himself to me and puts Himself in me to move me into a place of blessing that I have not yet known.  To move me into that blessed place of unbroken union with Him who gave all to become all in all in me. To move me to a deeper place of self death, absolute dependence upon Him and absolute trust in Him. He puts Himself in me to draw me closer to Himself and to do and be more in me than I could ever imagine.

God, keep reminding me and taking me further.

What have I got in my pocket?

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Since March, God has pressed me again and again with two inextricably linked powerful words. In these last three months, He has driven them deeper into my soul.

When Bilbo, the Hobbit, slipped his hand into his pocket in a dark place he said, “What have I got in my pocket?”, and his hand closed around a ring of power. I also carry a symbol of power in my pocket – this little empty shell.

I found it washed up on the central Oregon coast, and, in the last couple months, I’ve been carrying it in my pocket. When I slip my hand into my pocket throughout the day, I’m reminded of two powerful words: humility and faith.

When the shell was emptied of its fleshy self, the sea rushed in to fill and overflow it. As long as it was filled with itself, it couldn’t be filled with the sea. Likewise, I can’t be full of the life of God if I’m full of myself. When I’m emptied of my fleshy self and yielded to Him in unreserved surrender, He rushes in to fill and overflow me with all of the fullness of His own life and power. Fully emptied. Fully filled.

Humility is emptying. It’s reverent submission to the One who redeemed me and it says, not I but Christ. Not my will, not my rights, not even my abilities but Christ and Him alone. Humility is my heart deeply convicted of its sinfulness, utter lack and complete dependence upon Christ to be all in all in me.

Faith is filling. It’s the thrilling inrush of the abundant fullness of the life of God and the exceeding greatness of His power. Faith knows and rejoices with absolute assurance that Christ lives in me. That He works every moment of every day to make me all that He has designed me to be, to equip me with every good thing to do His will and to keep me abiding in the realness of His presence. This is His joy and delight.

These two powerful words are true only in tandem. Faith without humility is self-centered and self-reliant. Humility without faith is self-deprecating and hopeless. The two together unleash the power and life of God to do immeasurably more that all I can ask or imagine. Humbly trusting with unreserved surrender and unflinching faith is utterly transforming, deepening the sweet union of my heart with the heart of God and renewing it afresh every day.

Humility and faith together say, I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. (Galatians 2:20)

Please take a moment to read Amy Carmichael’s poem, The Shell, which so beautifully and succinctly describes the life of humility and faith.

In the Company of God

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And I said to the man who stood at the gate of the year:
“Give me a light that I may tread safely into the unknown”. And he replied:
“Go out into the darkness and put your hand into the Hand of God.
That shall be to you better than light and safer than a known way”.
So I went forth, and finding the Hand of God, trod gladly into the night.

Years ago, I taped a poster with this excerpt from Minnie Haskins’ poem, “God Knows,” to my refrigerator. It was a lifeline during a difficult season when the path ahead of me was shrouded in darkness. Standing at the gate of 2022 and staring into the unknown, it’s again a reminder of the extended hand of God and His unwavering presence.

Our Lord walks with us as literally as He walked with the disciples. Every day, He extends His scarred hand and says, “Follow Me.” Sometimes the path ahead looks scary and the unknown is unnerving. It takes courage to trust His love in the darkness, but there is nothing surer than the wounded hand of God. He will never withdraw His hand and will never turn away. He will not walk us into a tree or over a precipice. He goes before us to prepare the way, beside us to support and strengthen and behind us to protect us from the past.

The LORD will guide you always….
Isaiah 58:11

“You will not go astray in the company of God. Like Enoch, walk with God, and you cannot miss your road. You will have infallible wisdom to direct you, unchangeable love to comfort you, and eternal power to defend you. ‘The Lord’ – mark the word – ‘the Lord will guide you continually.”[1]

There is no place safer and no darkness lighter, than in the company of Jehovah. Grasp His hand, trod gladly into the night and all will be well.

I keep my eyes always on the LORD. With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken.
Psalm 16:8

[1] Spurgeon, Charles. (2003). Morning and Evening. Wheaton, IL: Crossway Books.